


Impossibly Possible

by TribalVipe



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Family, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 05:24:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11097807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TribalVipe/pseuds/TribalVipe
Summary: "She was positive she was having a mental breakdown in that moment, but she wasn't sure because she was feeling sick and her head was spinning and WHAT THE HELL."Let's just say, Liv gets some surprising news at the doctor's office.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: What kind of Barson fan would I be if I didn't write a Barson baby fic? Psh. Not a very good one. Also, NEVER FEAR because I'm working on the next chapters of Break-In and Captive! I know a lot of you are waiting on it but I'm trying to make them the best they can be. However, I do need a break when writing them because they're heavy on the violent and angsty and dramatic and thriller side. Plus...you gotta indulge a plot bunny when you have it.
> 
> Also, I'm trying to balance between a full time job, a summer class and rehearsal for a summer musical I'm in, so...yeah. That's my schedule in a nutshell. Anyhow, I intended for this to be a one-shot but I'm incapable of writing those. Like, seriously, I find it hard to do so. It's happened, but not very often. I'll shut up now. If any of you made it this far...you the real MVP. Enjoy!

Of course, the possibility of having a baby at this age was never on the table.

Liv knew that as soon as she passed the age of 40 that pregnancy wasn't an option and she struggled with that for a while, somewhere, in the back of her mind, hoping that one day she would experience that joyous feeling of creating a human life and becoming a mother.

But, then she got over it, the feeling still lingering but never enough to push her in the direction of a sperm donor and going through the process by herself. She put in the back of her mind and kept on working, making a difference in the lives of victims across NYC along with her team.

Fast forward to 53 and here she was, sitting on the edge of her bed, draped in her boyfriend's favorite fleece blanket on a cold, fall morning, staring at a stick that was smiling back at her, telling her she was pregnant.

Liv tilted her head, eyebrows knit together as she re-read the blinking word on the small screen once, twice, three times and then read it a few more just to make sure. She even grabbed the empty box, reading through the instructions for the tenth time just to make sure it was reading right.

Then, she tried two more, from two different brands that offered the same measly worded slogans, guaranteeing 99% accuracy Every. Single. Time.

Well…

"Bullshit," she scoffed and grabbed up the other two sticks, shoving them back in a box she hadn't destroyed and shoving them in the plastic bag from the drug store she kept. Either they were wrong, something was wrong with her or those tests were so far off and downright wrong, it was funny.

She disposed of them, making sure they were buried at the bottom of the bathroom waste basket, never to be accidentally discovered by the other two occupants of her small apartment. Another wave of nausea swept through her stomach like a tumble weed in a desolate dessert. This stupid feeling was what prompted the buying of the tests in the first place, along with a few other odd symptoms and a joke Amanda made in passing the other day that stuck with her for hours afterwards.

Really, she hadn't meant to pick up the tests when she ran down the street to the store, needing to pick up some more bubble bath for her three-year-old and shaving cream for her stressed out 47-year-old. She happened to walk past them, back track and take a long gander at the fully stocked rows of expensive sticks for shoving a few in her shopping basket, feeling self-conscious when an old woman walked past her and eyed her purchases.

She never expected anything to come out of it. She was 53, for crying out loud! Women her age didn't get pregnant. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't and she refused to believe it could ever be possible. She wasn't pregnant and that was that.

Except, now she was in the doctor's office waiting room, knee bouncing nervously as she tried to keep her mind off the impending appointment by watching the mid-morning news and checking in on her squad and the current case they were running.

Noah sat by her feet, playing with a book and a few action figures he pulled from the toy box in the corner and babbling about the big fish tank and how many fishies he wanted and-

"Olivia Benson."

She hastily grabbed her purse and pulled Noah along with her, nodding as he asked if he could take along the little army man and dinosaur he'd been playing with. Throughout the entire check-in process, she kept telling herself it was just a faulty test (all three of them) and she was in perfect health for a woman her age.

She even did it through the entirety of the doctor's appointment, despite the doctor's explanation that it, in fact, _was_ possible and it _did_ happen, just not as much as it happened for younger women. She wasn't a younger woman and she wasn't pregnant, so she just waved it off, forcing her concentration on watching Noah, who was becoming increasingly interested in the tongue depressors and cotton balls sitting in glass jars on the desk next to where he sat.

Liv let him draw the blood and run his tests, even taking a quick phone call with Rafael, who slaved away in his office and whined about her having week off for vacation and leaving him with her annoying (the word was used with no ill-will (she thinks)) detectives who bothered him for things they wanted.

It calmed her down, feeling normal as she easily bypassed the fact that she was sitting in a doctor's office, waiting for actually accurate pregnancy test results, while talking to her man. She cut the conversation short, coming up with some white lie about Noah getting into something he wasn't supposed to, but it hadn't been a lie at all because he actually was dangerously close to the glass jars on the desk just as the doctor walked back in.

"Sorry for the wait, but we did get an accurate reading," he smiled and sat down, pulling a few stickers out of his pocket for her son, who cheered and immediately stuck all of them to his shirt and pants while the doctor ran through the chart with same old results and then…

"You're pregnant."

Liv's kind smile as she listened to her stellar results didn't falter, but her heart may have in its beats. She nearly choked on a surprised gasp, but kept it to a reasonable 'meep' as she tried to process the information.

"Ms. Benson?"

She still sat there, hands on her knees and smile on her face while Noah played away, dragging the toy dinosaur across the plastic chair. She zeroed in on the sound, her mind moving too fast to try and do anything else. She was positive she was having a mental breakdown in that moment, but she wasn't sure because she was feeling sick and her head was spinning and WHAT THE HELL.

"Pregnant?"

"Yes," the doctor said, nodding and looking at her over his thick-rimmed glasses, seeming to understand that she was shocked about her results and she was thankful for that, even though he was the bearer of news that was about to change her life.

She drifted out of the doctor's office in a daze, a list of supplements she needed to pick up immediately, along with a newly scheduled appointment for the following week to check up. She also drifted along the busy city sidewalks and through the same drug store she'd been in just a day prior.

Pre-natal vitamins…Vitamin D…Calcium…she was tempted to buy a coffee and slam it because the stress was so real, right there in the vitamin aisle with Noah clinging to her hand and asking if they could buy some candy.

No more caffeine…no more wine with dinner…

Liv made it back to her bathroom, still in a daze but reality was slowly sinking into her as she took off her shirt and turned sideways in the bathroom mirror. Her stomach was flat and toned, thanks to years of diligent workouts and watching what she ate (for the most part) with no signs of a baby growing in there.

Literally…no signs.

She laughed a little, an undeniable feeling of overwhelming joy engulfing her half-naked form as she stood on the soft green rug in the bathroom, hands flattening on her stomach and envisioning the baby bump that would be there in just a few short months. Seven months, to be precise.

Two months already and she didn't even know it. Rafael hadn't caught on either, but he just thought she'd been sick with some bug that was taking a long time to leave her system.

Nope.

She felt euphoric and frightened all wrapped into one. Something she never thought possible for her was happening and it was happening at a time in her life where things were _good._ She had a little boy that was the reason she got up every morning and she was with a man who loved her like no one had loved her before and who she loved just as much.

But, she was frightened because there was a reason women her age didn't get pregnant.

Her doctor had been very serious during that part of the discussion, wanting to prepare her for things that may happen at stages during her pregnancy that would cause nothing but heart break. She was frightened because her job was dangerous and stressful sometimes, and those could have an impact on the health of her unborn child.

The negative possibilities she didn't even want to think about happening could happen…

"Mommy! I hungry!"

In all honestly, the odds were more in her favor than stacked against her. If not for her being in shape and healthy, this wouldn't have been possible but that didn't mean she was completely immune from everything advanced age pregnancy would bring.

Bed rest was something the doctor mentioned…

She cringed at just the thought of being bed-ridden for months on end but she would do what she would need to ensure the safety of the baby. Suddenly, that had become her number one concern.

What should have been her number one concern to begin with was how she was going to break the news to Noah. Better yet, how was she going to break the news to Raf? Somehow, those thoughts hadn't occurred to her the entire way home.

"Noah," she handed him his plate of cut up apples and a few carrot sticks, smiling as he hummed happily along to the television in the living room, "I have a question for you. I need you to listen, ok?"

Noah swung his head around to her, chewing on an apple slice and that was all the prompting she needed, "Do you want a little brother or sister? Would you like that?"

He furrowed his brow, swallowing his mouthful, "Brover?"

"Yeah, or a sister?"

He shrugged after a long moment of silence and consideration, choosing instead to focus on the television displaying brightly colored characters dancing across the screen. Liv chuckled and figured that was going to be the best response she was going to get from the toddler.

Now…all she had to worry about was Rafael.

God, she really needed some wine…


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All the fluff. I haven't decided whether I want to continue on in the baby journey or leave it as is. I like it as a 2-shot because it's short and sweet. But, there's always more story to tell. Let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

It was almost six by the time Rafael got home and she was quick to exit the browser on her phone displaying the website she'd been surfing.

Liv wasn't one to spend days off entirely in the house, always wanting to go out on the town for some much needed errand running or simply enjoying the outdoors while Noah played at the park with other children his age.

Except, she received seriously huge news that morning and there was no way she was fit to walk around the city with a toddler while simultaneously wondering if she should be freaking out or jumping for joy. In all honesty, she was too afraid to do either of those things.

For one, stress wasn't good for babies. Not at all, if what she just read was proof enough. Also, she didn't want to be too physical just out of shear fear that something bad was going to happen to him or her.

Thus, this news kept her in the house the entire day, lounging on the couch while Noah tutted around the living room, watching animated movies and playing toys between nap and snack time. It left her with hours in her pajamas, picking and combing through articles on every subject, between what foods were good for development and looking through baby name lists.

Of course, she didn't want to jump the gun. Two months in and there were risks involved; far more risks were involved simply because of her advanced age and the thought that she could potentially never meet this little, growing bean in her belly, wouldn't be survivable.

Those thoughts intertwined with her positive ones, preventing her from truly celebrating the miracle of life taking place in her womb at that very moment in time. She drifted in between various emotions through the day, but ultimately came to the conclusion that she wouldn't know what to feel until this was over with.

It still didn't feel all that real.

Noah jumped up from his spot next to her on the couch as keys jingled in the lock and front door to the apartment swung open. Rafael sighed as he marched through, briefcase being deposited in a heap by the coat rack, falling on its side uselessly. Liv automatically knew what kind of day it had been.

"That bad, huh?"

"Don't get me started," he grumbled, catching Noah as the little boy practically leapt into his arms. She smiled at the interaction, deciding it was time to check on the soup simmering on the stove top just a few feet away. She kept one ear on their conversation, knowing Rafael always calmed considerably when listening to her little man ramble on about the day's events. Noah had a way of making your worst day slightly more bearable, just by talking.

"Mommy go see the doctor!"

Liv's heart stopped mid stir, the wooden spoon clutching tightly in her hand as she bit her lip. Rafael made a surprised noise, walking into the kitchen with the toddler wrapped around his body.

"Willingly?"

Noah nodded, not realizing the question was more aimed at her instead of him. Liv composed herself in five seconds flat with a shrug of her shoulder and nonchalant wave, "Just to make sure everything's running smooth."

Rafael kissed Noah on the forehead and set the boy on his feet, watching him scamper off into the living room and leaving the two of them alone.

"And?"

Liv swallowed the lump in her throat, adding some pepper to the soup after a rather bland taste test, "Same old."

God, she hoped he bought the lie. She just needed some time to figure out how she was going to tell him. She should have been thinking about it all day, but the concern for the future months of her pregnancy was more concerning than what her love of a year and half was going to think.

Maybe that was a good sign? Maybe, somewhere deep down, she had the confidence in him that he was going to take this news well. Really, she expected nothing less of him. He wasn't the type of man to up and walk out of someone's life. Their relationship was strong, withstanding far more than regular couples ever faced…but was he a baby person?

It was a damn near miracle he and Noah had bonded so well after only three weeks of dating, but Noah was two and could talk and play and bring out a side to the ADA she'd never witnessed before. But…a baby? A newborn, that cried during the night and needed to be fed and changed and given loads of attention?

Was he that type of person?

"Liv?"

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at him, noticing his hand holding hers, still on the spoon that had been continuously stirring the soup in the pot. One of his hands rested on her waist, his body pressing into his side as he looked on, a tad bit concerned.

"Sorry," she apologized, realizing he'd been talking to her the entire time she'd been stuck in her thoughts, "It's been a long day. Noah…running around and getting into things, you know…"

Her excuse was lame, but he seemed to buy it, knowing how Noah could get when he received even the slightest bit of a sugar rush. He hummed and kissed her cheek, letting his hand drift up and down her back a few times as he leaned over and smelled the delicious aroma of her last minute dinner plan.

"Smells good," he moved away from her and shucked off his suit jacket, tossing it over to the couch before he grabbed for the bottle of scotch that sat tucked away on top of the fridge.

"Yeah, don't expect it to taste good," she chuckled, smiling at the amused snort. He pulled some glasses down and her stomach sunk when she saw a wine glass sitting next to his glass.

"Red or white?"

Liv turned off the burner and shook her head, "Neither. Not in the mood."

Rafael was taken aback by her response, but she refused to look at him, instead, focusing on ladling spoonsful of the soup into bowls for dinner. He didn't comment on the odd choice of her refusal for wine (because she drank a glass every night out of the sheer comfort the taste brought her (plus it was good for you, too)) and just followed her to the small kitchen table, ready to eat.

They talked about his day, Liv learning of the new developments for the case and they spent the majority of the time talking shop. It wasn't normal dinner time talk, because they did their best to separate work life from home life, but she allowed it as she simultaneously prepared herself for the talk they needed to have after Noah went down for the night.

There didn't need to be any distractions when she told him and, just in case things didn't go as well as she hoped, Noah didn't need to be around to witness that. Plus, the little boy had a knack for bad timing, jumping in and derailing adult conversations with his own comments.

After bath time for Noah and a quick shower and change of clothes for Rafael, they sat cuddled on the couch, the evening news playing in the background as his fingers ran through her loose hair, fingertips trailing over his scalp every few strokes.

Sleep tugged at her eyelids, but her mind was still active, building up the courage to bring up the sudden topic of children. How would she do it?

There was a plethora of ways, really. The three pregnancy tests she took earlier that morning still sat in the bathroom trash can, wrapped up tight in their plastic prison. Or, she could casually mention how she wanted another child and then slap him with the news that he was going to be a father.

Then, there was the blunt approach she could take. She could just say, 'I'm pregnant', and get it over with. But, was that too impersonal? Just blurting out that she was pregnant with a miracle baby and letting it float there, awkwardly in the middle of the living room? It would be like a bomb detonating. She was sure Rafael would be shocked if she just, out of the blue, told him the news.

His eyes would get wide, lips parted and eyebrows curled in shock. He would still completely and shift his body, forcing her to lock eyes with him while he asked her to repeat what she said, just to make sure he heard her right.

Liv realized a little too late, that the perfect description of how her boyfriend would react, was happening right in front of her. She looked up at him and pulled away, sitting up a little straight as her face twisted into embarrassment and horror.

Shit.

Shit, she said that out loud.

"…what did you just say?"

Liv gulped licked her lips, leaning back against the couch as Rafael sat up a little, muting the television and letting the remote clink against the glass coffee table. She resisted the urge to bite her lip, but instead, stared down at her twiddling thumbs.

"I'm pregnant," she said slowly, the words feeling odd as they left her mouth, but her voice was calm and steady. Rafael continued to stare at her, mouth trying to form words that wouldn't come. She felt bad that he was left reeling with the information while she sat there and awaited a response from him, but her mouth didn't get the memo that her thoughts were supposed to remain quiet.

Did she seriously already have baby brain? She knew she shouldn't have read all those articles.

"You're…pregnant?"

She nodded.

"…really pregnant?"

She nodded again, propping her head against her fist as her elbow rested against the back of the couch.

"Like…there's a baby growing in your belly, right now?'

"Yes," she said, the fingers of her left hand playing with a stray string that frayed from the bottom of her shirt. Her eyes drifted down to her belly at the same time his did.

They were silent for a while, Rafael's eyes searching hers for any sign of deception or a joke or whatever it was he thought she may have been hiding. She knew he wouldn't find anything other than the truth.

"How?"

Liv huffed, "Do you really need a sex-ed lesson, Raf?

"No," he shook his head, "I mean…how? We're not the youngest people…you know…"

Liv knew he was dancing around the issue of her age, but she reached over and grabbed his hand that was resting on the cushion, reassuring that she knew what he was talking about.

"The doctor said my health and the fact that I'm in shape is really what's helping me, here. Trust me, I didn't believe it myself when he told me or when I took the test…but…it's true. I'm pregnant."

"This is…not what I was expecting."

Liv smiled a bit, patting his hand as she laced their fingers, "Yeah, you and me both."

They fell silent again as Rafael moved closer, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into his side, "Are you happy?"

The question was whispered, his eyes full of concern because he probably expected her to be beaming from ear-to-ear. She was, on the inside, but it was hard to convey what else she was feeling. The impending doom that something terrible was going to steal the happiness away from her.

"Of course I'm happy. I never thought I'd ever be able to get pregnant and now I am and it's with you," she leaned her forehead against his, closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling of him holding her in the silence of their apartment.

"There's just so much that can go wrong," she spoke after a beat, feeling the onslaught of tears stinging the back of her eyes. She'd gone all day without crying and she really didn't want to start now, but she was finding it harder to do so as Rafael pressed his lips against her temple and pulled her into a comforting hug.

"I know. I'm sure there's a lot that can go wrong. But don't think about that right now."

She nodded, taking a few deep breaths as she relaxed into his embrace, letting him take the burden of her worrying off her shoulders, if only for a little bit.

"Are you happy?"

Rafael chuckled at her question and leaned back, catching her glossy gaze with his happy one.

"Yeah, I am. I'm very happy."

She smiled and leaned forward, capturing his lips in a simple kiss that explained more than words ever could between them.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It looks like I'll keep this open and continue to add onto it because I love writing about this. Also, you should note that I'm not an expert in baby stuff. I have no kids myself, so I've been researching and trying to make it seem believable. Enjoy!

"You're going to pace a hole into the ground."

The comment bounced of Rafael's restless mind as he kept on pacing, hands shoved into the pockets of his slacks. Here, in the middle of the doctor's office waiting room, was where he chose to have his first mental breakdown for the next seven months.

At least the room was empty, lest he freak the other waiting patrons out with his wild-eyed stare bouncing off the pale yellow walls. Liv had been silent the entire time, letting him have his moment, which he was eternally grateful for. It was his own personal way of dealing with things that were outside his level of comfort or, sometimes, comprehension.

This was way out of both for him.

Not that he was upset. Not at all. He was excited. He was happy and nervous and confused and so many other emotions all jumbled up, he had to loosen his tie and unbutton the first two just so he felt like he could breathe properly. It may have been a bad decision to take a few hours out of their mornings before work, but it was the earliest appointment available and there was no way he was going to miss out on being there.

"Maybe I'll do them a favor and they'll replace this god-awful orange carpet."

Liv sent him an amused look over her glasses, her lips twisting in a small smirk. He calmed a little, seeing her taking things so easy and patiently reading from an old magazine while they waited. She'd already had her mental breakdown…three full days of it.

Three days filled with hesitant hugs, careful movements and trying not to be so stressed during their paperwork binges for fear of hurting the child growing in her belly. Those days had also been filled with endless talks about the possibilities that this meant for their lives.

The thought made him sick to his stomach, but there was no denying that their little one could very not make it to term. Also, there was no denying that it would kill them both if that happened.

"Olivia."

He was glad the nurse broke him from the negative track his mind decided to take and he held out his hand to Liv, who took it and grabbed her purse, keeping their hands cupped as they walked back behind the door.

In just ten minutes, Liv was in a hospital gown, covering her bare torso as they tucked in for the wait for their doctor, who was running late. He took up his pacing again in there, but Liv stopped him just a few strides into it.

"Just sit down and answer some e-mails."

"I can't," he grumbled, shoving his hands in the pockets of his slacks. He bit his lip, eyes focusing on a spot on the tiled floor where the pattern didn't quite line up with the rest of the design.

"Come here," she waved at him, the paper underneath her crinkling as she adjusted herself slightly. He sighed heavily and shuffled until he stood between her legs and her arms wrapped around his neck. Their foreheads met and, for the first time in the past couple of days, he let himself feel completely calm and sane.

Liv stroked the nape of his neck, playing with the small hairs that flipped over the collar of his shirt. It was completely silent in the room, save for the ultra sound machine set up next to them, powering itself on with a low hum.

"I need you to relax. Because if you don't relax, then I can't relax. Watching you pace is making me anxious."

"I'm sorry," he said immediately, his voice sounding small and he hated that.

"I know you're freaking out and so am I…but let's just take things one step at a time. Starting with this ultrasound."

Leave it to her to say the exact thing to make him feel better. How she did that was still a mystery and probably always would be, but he didn't care if ever figured it out. He nodded wordlessly as she kissed him, comforting him action alone.

They pulled apart and it was only five minutes later of them exchanging some jokes and lightening the mood in the room when their doctor showed up, frazzled but happy.

"So sorry to keep you waiting! I'm Doctor Lou," the excitable woman shook both of their hands and headed straight for the desk set up in the corner, her medical file spread out neatly for her to examine. They did a quick run through of the tests and symptoms, having a rather honest and open discussion about her age and advanced pregnancy. They had done plenty of reading themselves, but the doctor just cemented what they had already learned.

"Ok, let's get you all set up for an ultrasound…see what's going on under the hood," she laughed, finding her own joke hilarious, waving the wand around as she snorted and squirted some of the cold jelly on Liv's now bare stomach. Rafael suppressed his eye roll and waited patiently as a blurry black and white image appeared on the screen. Liv's grip on his hand tightened just the slightest as the doctor waved the wand around, trying to find the perfect spot.

Finally, after a solid two minutes of searching, two black spots appeared on the screen, separated by only a few inches with two spots in the middle of each. The doctors surprised noise made her grip on his hand tighten even further, Liv's brain comprehending what she was seeing on the screen as her mouth fell open and tears raced to blur her vision.

Rafael shook his head, not knowing exactly what he was looking at until the doctor turned and giggled excitedly.

"Twins!"

He looked over, shocked, and saw a few tears slip down Liv's cheeks, her eyes never leaving the screen as the image moved and shook with every move of the wand pressed against her belly. Rafael fought to find the words to express just how damn surprised he was at this development.

"Twins? We didn't even know she was able to get pregnant…"

"Advanced age pregnancies are more likely to conceive multiples! Here, let's listen to their heartbeats!"

The doctor leaned forward and hit a switch, a sound wave appearing at the bottom of the screen with soft, whooshing sounds filling the room. Liv choked on a sob, trying to keep her emotions in check and failing miserably. Rafael took a deep breath, also feeling tears sting at the backs of his eyes, but he needed to be the rock in this situation.

"Congratulations, you two."

Rafael ignored the doctor's comment and leaned in closer to Liv, wiping her happy tears and kissing her, the sounds of their _baby's_ heartbeats encompassing them, building a connection between their little family like they'd never felt before.

They sat in his office an hour later, Liv's eyes still puffy as they stared at the black and white ultrasound photos they left the doctor's office with in Rafael's hands. Their coffees sat untouched, and the door was closed and blinds were down, leaving them alone with as much privacy as they could get.

It was real now.

Before had been all talk, with a test to prove to him that it was legitimate…but now…it was _real_.

Liv rested her head against his shoulder, arms wrapped around one of his as they continued to take in the blurry image together. How he ever would have been blessed with a gift like this, he didn't know. Hell, he still wasn't even sure how he got so lucky to have Liv and Noah in his life, but he wasn't going to question it.

He was going to be a dad.

Technically, he practically already was one. Noah had been calling him daddy on and off for the past couple of months, and eventually, it was going to stick, which was what he'd been hoping for since it started. Nothing could ever top the feeling of being called the 'D' word, and now he was going to have two more who would be calling him that.

He hoped…

Despite all the happiness and hearing their baby's hearts beating, he was still extremely hesitant on jumping fully into this. He loved them so much already, but there was always that what if in the back of his mind, every time the uncontrollable happiness in his heart threatened to consume him whole.

He didn't want to voice it to Liv, although he was sure she already knew. She was in the same boat, but stakes were higher because she was carrying them. Her body was creating life, giving their babies nutrients and a place to grow strong and healthy.

_God_ , he wished they would be healthy. Beautiful, chubby little babies with her brown eyes and olive skin tone. Little girls who would look as gorgeous as their mother…

"We have twins," she said softly, voice still raw with wonderment. Rafael nodded, a smile gracing his face even though the thoughts in head were anything remotely close to happy. For her sake, he would remain quiet with them. Only when she was ready to talk about it, and she would be, he would voice it.

But until then, he was content to let her cuddle into his side and stare at the ultrasound photos of their babies in his quiet office. She sighed and kissed his neck, erasing every single negative thought from his head along with it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: FLUFF ALERT. Major fluff warning...it might be deadly. I hope you guys are liking this fic. It's on the verge of seeming unrealistic and completely realistic to me, but I'm enjoying the hell out of writing it. ENJOY.

Her belly was already growing.

Normal for twins, was what the doctor said when she called, concerned the other morning after a noticeable change in her stomach. Three months pregnant and she was still in disbelief that this was happening to them.

Two babies in one pregnancy, at her age no less, wasn't something she ever thought she would achieve. Rafael was cautiously happy, always thinking about the negatives at the same time as the positives, even though he thought he was keeping it well hidden. He forgot that she could read him like a book.

"Raf, babe," Liv whispered, grabbing his exposed ankle and shaking it. He jumped from under the covers and mumbled something sleepily, shifting and turning away from the sunlight seeping in through the blinds. She yawned and drifted her hands across her abdomen.

She was doing that a lot lately. It couldn't be helped. She was hard pressed not to do it during work, which was becoming increasingly difficult as the days turned into weeks. The only people who even knew she was pregnant were a handful of doctors, her boyfriend and their toddler, who didn't really seem to care or understand what was happening.

Every time she tried to talk to the three-year-old about his impending siblings, he simply quirked a fuzzy eyebrow and turned back to whatever activity he'd been doing at the time. That was a bit concerning for her at first, but Rafael was quick to blow it off. Noah was still too young to understand how big of a deal this was and he probably wouldn't until the twins were born.

_Twins._

Two weeks later and she was still trying to wrap her head around it.

Not just one baby. Two. At her age?

She'd been trying to steer away from that shocked feeling because it was all encompassing, all the time. Despite the craziness of the situation and the oh so many risks, she wanted to enjoy this pregnancy and, in moments, she had been.

Like now, standing under the steady stream of hot water in her shower, her hands cradled her growing baby, humming a tune that bounced off the tiles and surrounded her in the early morning silence.

During these moments, she felt a calm happiness that settled over her mind and soul, feeling her growing children through the palms of her hands. There was nothing that was ever going to break the connection between her and Noah, but this was a connection that she'd never felt before.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bathroom door opening, sleepy feet dragging along the tile. She didn't jump when the curtain was pulled back, but she smiled as Rafael got in behind her and pressed a kiss to her wet shoulder.

"Morning," he sighed, yawning as he reached around her for his shampoo. Liv turned, hands still on her belly as she gave him a proper kiss, pushing his already sopping wet hair off his forehead, "Ready for court? Big day."

He scoffed and she gave him a knowing smirk, already knowing they had this case in the bag before the suspect was ever arraigned. She loved cases like that. So did he.

"For who," he mumbled, a small smirk on his face as he soaped up his hair, eyes traveling down her body shamelessly. They snagged and hesitated to move further once they spotted her hands still cupping her belly, and his smirk grew soft. She smiled and leaned into him, his hands abandoning their washing in favor of pulling her close to his body.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips, feeling on his hands slide around to her stomach before it stopped and wrapped around her back again. He'd been doing that a lot lately, as well. Hesitating…staring at her stomach like it was going to burn him alive if he got anywhere near it.

Honestly, she'd been disheartened, thinking he didn't want the same thing after all, but she was quick to think otherwise after a few days ago, in the interrogation room that split from her office.

" _Tell me," she urged, palms on the table and leaning over it, practically in this guy's face. He was hiding something important, she knew it, and she needed to know because her patience was wearing thin and there was Chinese sitting on her desk, ready to be devoured._

" _I don't know anything."_

" _Bullshit," Fin added from across the room, leaning against one wall as he leisurely sipped a cup of coffee. This guy was buff and angry and looked at them like he wanted to kill them if they said another word. He more than likely did._

" _You two think you're gonna get something out of me and it ain't happenin'."_

" _Oh it will. One way or another."_

_She didn't expect her response to be met with such violence. The man stood, knocking his chair back, his hands only gripping her neck for a few seconds before he was roughly slammed to the floor by Fin. The shock of it knocked her back a few steps, but she kept her balance, hands flying immediately to her stomach as Carisi and Rafael flew into the room from where they'd been watching moments before._

" _Liv?!"_

_Rafael's worried voice brought her out of her wide-eyed stare and she nodded when he asked her if she was ok. His hands cupped her face, eyes shooting down to her covered abdomen in concern. She took a few calming breaths as he led her out of the room, letting Fin and Carisi shove the handcuffed suspect out into her office and then the squad room._

" _Well…," was all she could say as they both watched the man trying to fight of her detectives, only to be brought down by a few other officers milling about in the precinct. Rafael stepped in front of her line of sight, worry prevalent on his features. She still clutched her stomach, uncaring that someone might see her and wonder what the hell she was doing. Concern immediately rose in her mind for her babies. Her heart was racing and it was slowly calming down, but the jolt to her system couldn't have been healthy. Her boyfriend realized that and it took her a minute to realize his hands were gripping her wrists, knuckles gently grazing her small bump._

" _Do we need to go to the doctor?"_

_She shook her head after a moment of deliberation, her racing heart having finally come down enough so she could breath and think normally. She gently moved her hands from her belly and cupped his face, his hands still gripping her wrists._

" _Raf, it's OK."_

" _That is not OK, Olivia."_

_His tone was soft, but his words were firm and the usage of her full name cemented how serious he was. They stood there in silence before she spotted Fin making his way towards her office. She quickly pressed a reassuring kiss to his lips and stepped back, promising they would talk later._

She wordlessly reached behind her and pulled on his wrist, sliding it back around to her stomach and resting it there, palm flat. His hand was larger than hers and it looked so amazing there, pressed against her growing belly where their children developed. It brought forth a slew of unexpected, and completely hormonal driven, tears to her eyes. Just seeing this man, his eyes wide and staring at her like she was his entire world never ceased to amaze her. It was the way he looked at her and Noah all the time and, she knew, it would be the way he looked at their babies when they were born.

She gently laid her hand on top of his, fingertips caressing the veins and slightly rough skin, "You always go to touch them and then you stop yourself."

She didn't ask why, because she didn't need to. He looked ashamed, breaking eye contact and staring down at their joined hands. He was quiet, the only sound now was the hot water raining down on them from above.

"I know…and I'm so sorry. I just…the thought of something happening…to you? I'm afraid to get attached because I don't know if I could deal with it, Livy."

Tears gathered in his eyes and the tears in hers fell freely. Seeing him so emotional and afraid wasn't new, but it was startling paired with his words. Those fears weren't going to go away until the twins were born, and even after, they would have new fears to replace the old ones. But, she felt a confidence deep down in her heart amidst the list of possible complications down the road.

Something was telling her they were going to make it and they were going to be happy, healthy babies with loving parents and a loving older brother. But, Rafael didn't feel that and she understood why.

"You're already attached, honey. You prove it every day. I know it's scary. Trust me, I think it about it every moment of every day just like you do. But, you have to have faith in me when I saw that things are going to be ok. It might get rough sometimes…but I know for sure that we're going to be fine."

Rafael sighed, closing his eyes and bringing his other hand up to rest on the other side of her stomach.

"Do you have faith in me?"

The question hung between them for a bit, but he finally opened his eyes, green meeting brown in the silence of their shower. He smiled slightly, eyes still bright with unshed tears, but the dark cloud of fear that had been swirling in his eyes was dispersing as he opened his mouth to answer her.

"I do."

He kissed her slowly, passionately, soaking in the sound of the water pattering on the floor, cascading down their bodies in rivulets. The heat grew and within moments, they were joining against the wall, forgetting all those fears and thoughts that kept them awake some nights. She vowed to herself, and to him in her mind, that she would do everything in her power to make sure this was a positive experience.

Within a few short months, they were going to be doing a lot of baby preparation, and the thought of dragging him along to baby stores to pick out furniture and buy clothing (once they knew the genders) and make him explain to Noah why her stomach was getting so big all the sudden, made her laugh.

Rafael raised his head from her neck, still pressed against her and panting as he looked at her joyous face, her body wracking his with her laughter. Before he could ask, she kissed him again, smiling from ear-to-ear and urging him to continue.

"It's nothing, baby. Nothing at all."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The squad is in shock and they find out the genders! I hope you guys are still liking this fluff fest of a story!

Four months in and she was pretty much showing now.

It was unavoidable and she knew that, walking into the precinct with a fitted shirt, outlining her growing belly and Rafael with his arm around her waist. They received many looks; some of the officers looked straight at her protruding belly covered by the bright orange shirt she wore. Others, instead, chose to focus on her boyfriend's arm around her because not everyone knew about their relationship.

Her detectives did, and she was glad they'd made the executive decision a year ago to let at least her colleagues in on it, instead of hoping both of their higher-ups didn't spill the beans in during gossip sessions. Office drama was a hazard to both of their jobs and neither one of them wanted to be the reason for it.

Her squad had taken it well, only offering congratulations and moving on with their business, which is what they both expected. There wasn't a resounding shock or a million questions asked by anyone. It was a simple acceptance that didn't change the dynamic between any of them.

But, this? This was going to change things around there, big time. Dodds had given her belly a cursory glance that morning as she walked through the door of his office and he cut her off before she could even say anything.

_If I hear you step foot out into the field, I'll demote you._

Liv had rolled her eyes when Rafael agreed whole-heartedly behind her, like she was about to risk stepping out into the field with a very obvious pregnant belly, but she supposed with her track record, it was somewhat warranted. She hadn't gone out on the streets in the past couple of weeks, and it was getting too hard to come up with excuses on why she couldn't.

Plus, the looks her squad was giving her lately almost made it seem like they knew. Hell, they probably did.

"Nervous?"

Rafael's voice brought her out of her thoughts as they exited the elevator. Liv stopped just before they could turn the corner, pulling him towards her and wrapping him in a hug. He pulled her close, her belly pressing into his as he felt her trembling. Hot tears slid from her eyes and onto his neck, dripping down into the fabric of his dress shirt. He didn't mind it. He just let her have her moment.

She hadn't been all that mood swingy lately, but she definitely found herself more on the emotional side. Sometimes, she just needed a quick cry and she was fine. Other times, she was happy. Her morning sickness was gone and she felt on top of the world. Not to mention, their non-existent sex life for the past few months had come back with a vengeance, intent on wearing him out.

And hell, he was wore out.

"Sorry," she sniffled and pulled away, looking around and smiling at a few officers who looked on in concern. She could feel the eyes on her belly and the anxiety that maybe now wasn't the best time to do this was coming back. But Rafael wouldn't let her. He knew the questioning she was getting from her squad was beginning to bother her. He felt like he was pushing her sometimes, but it had to be done.

"Let's just get it over with. I have court at 9 and you have heaps of files to get to," he joked, stroking her chin and making her smile. She gasped a little, bringing her hand to stomach and immediately, he gripped her arm.

She shook her head, already knowing what he was going to say. Instead, she bit her lip, eyes lighting up as she stared him in the eyes. Tears returned, but they didn't fall as she said, "That feeling…the fluttering? I can feel it."

That was a new development; a good development according to their doctor. The first sign of life came during dinner the other night and it startled Liv so bad she nearly fell off her chair. They called the doctor, who'd given them his personal cell phone if they had any questions, and he laughed while explaining there was nothing to worry about and that they should be happy their babies were making their presence known. Just in case, they had gone into the office the next day, because the constant threat of their twins' demise was always floating around in the forefront of his mind.

"They agree with me," he leaned forward and kissed her, his hand coming up briefly to trace the side of her belly, "Now, come on. Everyone's waiting."

She took a deep breath and let him lead around the corner, keeping their fingers laced when, usually in the office setting, they kept a good foot away from each other at all times. Professionalism was a must between them, but that had been slipping lately and it couldn't be helped.

She sucked in a deep breath as she noticed her squad hanging around her office, the door open and waiting for her to come in. She rallied them all through text just as she was leaving Dodd's office, thinking it would be better to announce it them in private, rather than the openness of the squad room.

Their voices grew louder the closer they got and Fin, who was leaning by the windows behind her desk was the first to notice them. He smiled and opened his mouth to say something, but his eyes were immediately drawn to her belly and it fell almost instantly, replaced with shock. Amanda and Carisi noticed this quick change and both locked onto her at the same time.

At first, Carisi didn't notice anything different, and merely said good morning as he pulled out his chiming phone from his pocket. However, Amanda noticed straight away, standing to attention as she came to a stop within her office, Rafael shutting the door behind him.

It was silent as Fin and Amanda stared at her belly, then her and Rafael, who awaited their response. It took a few, drawn out moments of silence for Carisi to realize something was happening, and when he did, he exclaimed, rather loudly, that she was pregnant.

Liv looked out the window after shushing him. Everyone was going to know by the end of the day and about half the precinct had already seen her, but she still didn't want to broadcast it to the world.

"Uh…," Fin struggled for words, mouth still parted in shock. Amanda was the first to break out of the trance her growing belly had on all of them.

"Liv…congratulations," she said, arms coming and wrapping her in a hug. Liv chuckled and reciprocated, feeling a tad bit awkward but appreciating the gesture. Amanda pulled back and looked down at her belly again before she patted Rafael on the shoulder, who nodded and stood next to her.

"Damn, girl…is this why you haven't been out in the field, lately?"

"Yeah, too risky," she said, accepting a hug from him as well. Carisi was right behind Fin, giving her a big hug that knocked her back a little. Rafael almost reached out and grabbed Carisi by the neck of his suit, but he found himself wrapped up in an equally big hug. Rafael looked shocked and incredibly uncomfortable, and he shrugged out of it quickly, putting distance between the two.

"This is amazing! But, Liv…aren't you kinda…," Carisi gestured wildly with his hands, looking like he was about to say something he probably shouldn't. Liv felt a rare (as of late) flare of anger, knowing exactly what the man was trying to say. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest, popping one hip out.

"How are you feeling about desk duty?"

That shut him up.

"Do you know what you're having yet? How far along are you?"

Liv sent Carisi one last withering glare, "Just over four months now. We'll be able to find out what they are during our next ultrasound."

"… _they?_ "

Oh. Yeah. She forgot they didn't know. She'd been doing that too much. Forgetting about little, everyday things, like putting sugar in her decaf or searching her cell phone when it was tucked in her pocket. Baby brain was real, she didn't care what they said.

"Twins," Rafael supplied, bringing his hand up to rub gently up and down her back. She leaned into him a little, enjoying the feeling of his warmth seeping in through her already thick winter coat.

"Oh my God, I'm so happy for you guys," Carisi sighed dreamily, hands over his heart. He moved in to give Liv another hug, gently this time, but Rafael put his hand out and kept the younger man away from him this time. Liv had to giggle as she wrapped an arm around her boyfriend's waist and rested her head against his shoulder, happy that every bit of anxiety she had about this little reveal had gone up in smoke around her.

* * *

 A week later, she found herself lying on a comfortable, leather reclining seat, her shirt pushed up as her and Rafael waited patiently for the doctor.

Today was the day they were going to find out the sexes of their children, along with a check-up on how they were progressing. She'd been feeling movement like crazy the past week, something that never ceased to bring a smile to her face. At first, she didn't like the feeling, mainly because it happened out of the blue and the movement was so insignificant, it didn't deserve to be paid any mind.

Two weeks and it was stronger and happening double than what was probably normal for a pregnant woman only carrying one baby. But, she didn't mind. She never minded. Not when it came to these growing babies in her belly. Plus, Noah had finally taken interest on why her belly was getting bigger and bigger, but with the drawn-out explanation of where babies come from, she'd lost him to his cartoons. Either way, he was finally growing curious enough to ask, and if that's all they got, she would take it.

Beside her, Rafael fiddled with his tie, eyes searching the floor as he stared off into the distance. He looked distraught, almost, with his green eyes wide and his lips moving just a little bit. Perhaps, he was preparing for court in the morning. He tended to do that; he liked to have his speeches memorized to a T and she often found him talking to himself in the mornings when he was getting dressed or ready for bed.

She left him to his own devices, too on the doctor finally joining them in the room. Liv wasn't in the mood for the woman's perky attitude and, instead, lied about a meeting they had in less than an hour and how they needed to move quickly. The doctor was nice and helpful, but she was so easily side-tracked and Liv didn't have the patience.

"Alrighty! Are you two ready to see the genders? So exciting!"

Rafael rolled his eyes, grabbing on to Liv's outstretched hand as the cold jelly was deposited onto her stomach. They spent the next three minutes listening to the woman's spiel about her ex-husband taking her dog or something, as she waved the wand around, searching for her baby's bodies.

She finally found them tucked safely on her right side, each baby in their own sack instead of sharing, "Ok, we have fraternal twins here. You can see that, right here."

Liv nodded and urged the woman to continue, gripping Rafael's hand harder than she should have. He didn't say anything, though, and just let her continue to abuse it. She waited with baited breath as the doctor tapped away on a keyboard, smiling towards them as she finished.

"Ok, baby A is a…boy!"

"Yes," Rafael said silently, one half of his bet completed. The betting pool at work was rather large, with the squad's money thrown in. So far, the majority had guessed two girls, with only her and Rafael betting on a boy and a girl and Fin betting on two boys. But, in all honesty, she didn't matter what their genders were, as long as they were healthy.

"And baby B is a…girl!"

Liv felt tears spring to her eyes and soon, she was full on sobbing on the table, holding Rafael's hand to her chest while he tried to calm her down, a big grin on his face and looking happier than she'd seen in a while.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ok, it's been ten thousand years since I updated this fic, but I honestly lost the juice for it. I've been trying to spit this out for months now. I had a plot before, but now it's just going to be a bunch of fluffy chapters with prego Liv and nervous daddy Barba. I know a lot of you have been wanting me to update this fic, but it's pretty low on my priority list. I'll still continue to pump out chapters, though. I don't own SVU or its characters, and I hope you enjoy.

"Where…in the hell…Rafael!"

Rafael was in the middle of fixing his tie when she yelled his name. He nearly choked himself for tugging on the fabric so hard, judging by his red face and coughing fit as he joined her in the kitchen. She instantly felt bad and cursed the tears stinging behind her eyes.

Six months pregnant, and she was getting more and more emotional by the day, something she was hating just as much as Rafael was. The only difference was the fact that she hated crying every time she saw a damn baby food commercial and he hated seeing her cry.

"What's wrong? Are you ok?"

She sighed and leaned on the counter, feeling the muscles in her back tighten. She would rather be back in bed at that moment, but she knew she would be going stir crazy if that happened. Bed rest was on the table, but it hadn't been forced on her yet, much to her pleasure. With her pregnancy being so high-risk, coupled with her age and the nature of her job, she was positive the doctor would slap her with it almost immediately, but she'd been able to avoid it so far.

Rafael wasn't so pleased, but that was because he was so damn worried every second of the day. If it wasn't because of her mood swings and back pain, it was because she was dizzy sometimes or had the oddest craving for apple juice and fried chicken. Through it all, though, he was doing his best to stay calm himself while simultaneously trying to keep her grounded.

He was a trooper and she loved him more because of that.

"I'm fine. The babies are fine," she ground out, seeing him relax the slightest. Irritation welled up in her again as she all but threw open the fridge door and pointed at the empty shelf, "Now, who in the hell drank the last of the pickle juice? Was it you?"

Rafael just looked at her, shaking his head. He was amused but she found nothing remotely funny about the situation. Her mouth was salivating with just the thought of the salty brine and if she didn't drink any at that very moment, there was going to be hell to pay.

"It's not funny, Rafael. Your children want the juice and there was a jar of it in here last night. I remember, because I ate all the pickles out of it and set it right next to my juice boxes. Did you drink it?"

"Honey," he said slowly, raising a placating hand before she could start in on him. She crossed her arms and popped her hip out, doing her best to look intimidating even with the unshed tears making a comeback in her eyes. "Look behind you and to your left."

She glanced over her shoulder, seeing the lone pickle jar sitting out on the counter by the sink, top off and a bendy straw sticking out of it. She licked her lips and looked back at him, immediately trying to form an apology. She sighed shakily and sniffed, shifting on her feet.

"Sorry…," she breathed out, a small sob escaping her mouth afterwards. Rafael just came up and held her, rubbing her back and kissing her neck as she buried her face in his. She hated just how fast she was switching between emotions, but she hated the absent-mindedness the most. She misplaced everything nowadays. Yesterday morning, she thought she lost her cell phone, when really, it had been in her blazer pocket all along. Half the time she felt like she was going crazy, but she'd been told, by Amanda, Lucia and her doctor, that everything she was experiencing was completely normal.

"I'm getting your shirt wet," she pulled back and wiped at her nose. He cleaned her face off with his hands, smiling at her. "Forget the shirt. I have more."

"I love you," she backed away completely and grabbed the still cold jar, taking a few long sips. He snorted and disappeared down the hall, calling to Noah, who was still in bed and sleeping away. She sighed in content and downed the rest of the jar until it was gone. She was going to have to stop by the store on the way home for some more.

Throwing the jar away, she moved onto the row of vitamin bottles lined up on the counter. She forced herself to stop right there and empty her daily amount out into her palm, knowing if she stepped away for even a second, she would completely forget.

"Don't forget to take- "

"I got it," she cut Rafael off, who was now fully dressed and carrying his briefcase. He snorted and walked over to her, kissing her on the cheek. "Just making sure. You forgot them three times last week."

Lucy chose that moment to walk in, leaving her sassy comment about to leave her mouth hanging between them. She sent him withering glare and dug in the fridge for one of her juice boxes. She was going to need two of them this morning.

* * *

 "We're gonna have to go round him up."

"You mean us, and not you."

Liv could feel her irritation instantly flare up again as she stared at Fin over the top of her glasses. She'd been doing so good with her mood swings since she got here four hours ago, and now they were about to go for another ride with that comment.

Fin noticed almost immediately but didn't back down. Amanda and Carisi didn't say anything, but they were amused. Probably because she looked less intimidating now that she was sporting quite the baby bump and was sipping from one of the juice boxes she kept stashed in the break room fridge.

"No, I mean I'm going to go do it myself without any backup and hope for the best." She rolled her eyes, knowing Fin could take her attitude in stride, and he did, chuckling while she slid his coat on.

"Barba would have a cow," Amanda snorted, imagining their Lieutenant in her delicate condition trying to take down a perp and Barba screaming her off for even carrying a gun on her hip. They'd all been surprised just how fatherly the normally grumpy ADA was being lately, not that they didn't witness it enough with Noah, who thought the man was a superhero the way he looked at him sometimes.

Fin and Carisi often commented on how weird it was to see, but Amanda always felt a little warm inside when she was privy to it. Those private moments, when they thought they were alone, and he would touch her belly and make her smile. They both looked so happy, and that in turn made her happy.

"A cow about what?"

Barba strode through the squad room with his briefcase in one hand and a bag from the deli two blocks down in the other. Liv immediately perked upon seeing it and her irritated mood shifted into one of delight.

"Just a joke about Liv going out in the field with no backup," Fin commented, making sure to inform the man of the joke beforehand. Carisi had told a similar joke last month, without the preface and while Liv was in the bathroom, and Fin couldn't remember ever seeing the man so pale before. Liv had given Carisi hell for that one, and shoved him at a desk for a week because of it.

"Please, don't give me those images. I'm having enough trouble keeping her and my children fed without having to think about that."

"Hey!" Liv's lip curled for a split second, but as soon as he set the bag of food down, she happily opened it, spotting the giant paper wrapped pickle first thing. "Oh, you got me two pickles! God, you're the best. I'm definitely going to ride you tonight."

Amanda, Fin, and Carisi froze and then took off right after that, disgusted looks on their faces. She yelled the address after them and unwrapping her pickle simultaneously. Rafael gave her a look, knowing a few other officers had heard what she said, but she shrugged, chewing happily.

"That's what they get."

He couldn't argue with that. He dug around in the bag for his own sandwich and was about to dig in when Liv gasped and clutched the pickle tightly in her hand, a droplet of juice tipping over the side and down her hand. Her free hand flew to the side of her belly, and her eyes were wide with tears forming in them.

"What?" He said, giving her his complete attention. His heart sped up to an abnormally fast pace. It was so loud in his ears it drowned out the office sounds of the precinct they sat in. Liv was silent, despite his rapid-fire questions, but she finally shushed him and reached over, grabbing on of his twitching hands and placing it on her stomach.

"They're kicking," she said quietly. Rafael froze at that, feeling the small bump against his palm almost immediately after. A huge grin broke out on his face. This was a moment they'd been waiting for and were anxious because it hadn't happened yet. They'd called their doctor almost every week just to make sure, but they were reassured that Liv was right on track, their babies were healthy, and they would kick in due time.

They spent almost every night, tracing her belly, waiting for that fluttering sensation to turn into full on movement. They'd been disappointed, every single night for the past two months, but it was happening now. In the squad room, no less.

"Oh my God," she whispered, biting her lip to try and keep her emotions at bay. He wasn't faring well himself, tears stinging his eyes as the small bumps against his palm continued. Liv smiled at him, sniffing loudly. She threw her pickle in the bag and wiped her other hand on a napkin and then wiped the tears on her face. She had to retain some semblance of stoic in this place. She was a Lieutenant…they couldn't see her crying like a baby, even though one of the most amazing things had just taken place there.

"She keeps going…"

"I think he's on that side, honey. I'm almost positive she's over here," Liv patted the other side and her frowned, trying to think back to their ultrasound last week. "You sure?"

"It's intuition."

"In any case, whichever one this is, they're gonna be a soccer player."

"We really need to get on picking those names." It was true. They'd been doing their best to try and create a list of names they could both agree on, but they were having a hell of a time. It was either too traditional, or not traditional enough, and those baby naming sessions often turned into arguments.

"I still say we let Noah decide. He's more excited for the babies than I think my mother is."

"No…no, I think Lucia is more excited. I'm sure she's told half the city she's gonna be a grandmother by now. Maybe she can throw in a few suggestions?"

"…really? She named me Rafael…I'm not sure her baby naming abilities are up to par with our standards."

"I like your name…it's cool…it's a real…Ninja name."

Rafael rolled her eyes and pulled his hand away, the kicking having subsided and his hunger returning. The babies kicking were going to be his new obsession, he just knew it. He was going to force Liv to lie on their bed for at least an hour so he could feel them again, if the twins were up for it. He certainly hoped so.

"First of all, I was not named after a Ninja Turtle. Second, you're lucky she didn't go with Samuel Barba Jr. like she planned on doing."

"You don't even come close to looking like a Samuel. Sam. Sammy." Liv scrunched up her nose and shook her head, reaching for her pickle again. Rafael shuddered and dug into his food. They sat out in the squad room, occasionally being interrupted by an officer who needed a signature.

They polished off their lunch and made a b-line for her office, wanting some privacy as they finished out the rest of their lunch hour. He still had plenty of work to do and she still had plenty of sitting and tapping away on a computer to do.

"I'm all for Noah picking the names, but they need to be reasonable. So, we can sit down with him tonight and come up with something. If that fails, your mom's going to have to step in, because at this rate, our poor babies are going to be nameless for the first three months of their lives."

He could argue that. With two workaholics under one roof, things were bound to be forgotten by either one or both of them. Baby naming was at the bottom of their list of worries when it needed to be towards the top.

"Agreed. Alright, I need to get back to the office. I have a meeting I need to prep for and an arraignment at two. I'll call you later," he leaned over her desk and kissed her, keeping it chaste at work. A wicked smile formed as he thought about that little comment she made earlier while her detectives were still around, and he turned in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

"So, are you going to ride me before or after we brainstorm baby names tonight?"

Liv looked confused for a second but returned his wicked grin, licking her lips for good measure. "It'll be a surprise. Don't bring any work home with you."

With that, Rafael turned on his heel and left, hoping the day would go by quickly. He was eager to get home.


End file.
